Houston, We Have a Problem

Countdown to Delivery: 24 days (adjusted)
Due date: 4/18/10


Ok, so something always has to complicate anything we need to do around here.  This morning we received a little bad news.  It seems our baby likes to do things feet first.

Baby Katie is breech.  To be specific, she is Frank Breech.  You can read more about it here.
3% to 4% of all babies are breech and almost all come home completely healthy these days.

Well, this is not what we wanted to hear from Tiffany the Midwife (whom we adore) but Marie already knew it.  She had been pointing to a very hard place on the upper part of her tummy and saying "I think that is a head" for quite some time now.

The Midwife checked Marie over top to bottom (pun intended) and pronounced that our little girl (yes, I made them confirm that, too) is very healthy, has plenty of amnionic fluid, and is politely right-side-up.  She is over 6 pounds now and going to be very long.  She's still a girl (where is the divine intervention that I've been asking for, God...think BOY!)  Great, now what do we do?

Tiffany says we have two options; one is to have a Cesarean Section and the second is to have a "cephalic version" which is where the mother is sedated and (like kneading dough) they massage the baby into the right place.  Rumor has it that it is rather uncomfortable for the mommy and can be dangerous.  Besides, Nurse Schuller the Head Nurse at the Hospital says they often flip right back over.  We asked her while we visited the Baby Center at the Hospital this morning.  What a nice place!

Oh goodie!  More decisions.  Marie and I have chatted about it and I think she is going to go ahead with the C-section.  She'll be uncomfortable for a few weeks, but won't have to go through the pain of delivery.  Its her decision, so we'll see what the final outcome is.  Hey, we may get to say what day the baby is born!  That is a good thing.  Marie and I are planners and we like to have the convenience of knowing when it is going to happen.

Now...there is a THIRD option!  Witch Doctoring!  There are TONS of old-lady-I-saw-it-on-Oprah methods for making the baby turn.  So I've taken it on myself to figure out the best ways to get Katie to roll over.

Rolling Potions and Positions by Scott Perry

The Gravity Assisted Sumersault:  Have the mommy get on her hands and knees on the floor, then lower her head to the ground.  Stay in this position through an entire Oprah re-run.  The father can kick the booty once in a while for extra gravity.

Moxibustion:  Burning special Chineese herbs helps to stimulate accupunture pressure points.  Specifically you burn mugwort as close to your smallest toes.  I'm not making this up.  Everything on the internet is true.

Hypnosis:  By putting the mother into a deep state of relaxation you can relax the area around the baby and give it more room to move.  The baby will also quit smoking and donate all its money to a favorite charity.

Visualization:  Each day spend several minutes of quiet time imagining the baby gliding through the birth canal head first.  Watch reruns of Olympic Bobsledding if possible.

Flashlight and Music:  move the bright light from your uterus to your pubic bone.  Whisper quietly "move toward the light!"  In the background play Motley Cru or Def Leppard on the Ipod at full volume.  The baby will be born with a tattoo.

Glass of Juice:  babies often move after a sugar high.  Drink a glass of juice and lay on your side.  No, this is NOT an excuse to eat an entire box of chocolates.

Scrubbing Floors:  get on hands and knees and scrub the floors.  The gentle rocking motion helps the baby move.  Oh yeah, right...like my wife is going to scrub a floor.


Ice Bag Method:  Putting something cold on the top of the uterus makes the baby want to move away to a warm place.  Try using an ice bag for 10 minutes at a time.  Another couple did this and the baby moved to Cozumel.  Much warmer there.

So I'm not sure which way we'll go yet, but we're glad to know that the baby is ok and just stubborn.  Sounds like another Taylor coming along!