The Diaper Genie

Please ignore typos, stupid remarks and anything that doesn't make sense.  The daddy was up all night and finally got a chance to sneak into the computer room without someone shouting "Scott go get this" and "Scott go get that!"  Actually, I don't mind at all, its just every time I sit down I have to get back up.

Marie bought a Diaper Genie.  If you don't know what it is, I'll explain.  It is a large tubular plastic trash can that makes diapers into sausage.  I'll never eat sausage again.  It has a thin plastic wrap inside and every time you drop a diaper into it it spins it around and when full you pull out a string of wrapped diapers that look like sausage links.  It's claim to fame is that you don't have stinky diaper smell.

It appears that I put it together wrong, so I had to go find the instructions and reassemble it.  When I press the foot petal it throws a stinky diaper at me.  Must have something backwards.  I spent an hour trying to repair it in the middle of the night.  So far it is working very well because in the last 12 hours I've used it 13 times.  You see, Miss Katie is repootable.

Repootable?  Maybe you aren't educated in baby speak so I'll help you out here.  When you change a poopy diaper and get the baby all clean and dressed, then you sit down and snuggle her and all is well with the world...then you hear PPPLLLLSSSSPPPPBBBBB coming from her bottom.  That is repootable.  It basically is the chronic need for a newborn to mess up a brand new diaper just so her poor old dad has to change it immediately after changing the last one.

Katie was repootable several times last night.  However, this morning, she provide me with her crowning achievement.  I got a poopy, a repootable and then a pee pee while changing her!  If this was the Olympics I'm sure she would have gotten a 9.87 and a standing ovation.  All I got was more laundry to do.

What I need is a REAL diaper genie!


...rubbing the side of the baby wipes box....blue smoke...then POOF!
"Greetings, master!"
"Hello Genie..."
"How may I serve you?"
"Um...see that newborn over there?"
"I smell her...yes...."
"How about a diaper change."
"Uh...master...I'm not sure..."
"Yes, its covered in the contract.  I rub the baby wipes box, free you from a thousand years of imprisonment, and you grant me three wishes!"
"Well, changing diapers is NOT on the..."
"Oh yes it is Blue Boy...now get too it!"
"You don't mean..."
"Yes, you are in charge of the stinky diaper"
"This must count for at least two wishes."
"No, just one...now get cracking"
"Can't I just go back to the box.  Hey, how about an extra normal wish and YOU change her!"
"Nope...I'm 11 ahead of you already...get to wiping!"
"Got a clothespin on you?"

Yup...I need a diaper Genie!